The rope strains as it’s pulled tight on either side. A ribbon
in the middle shows the progress of one side against the other – back and
forth, back and forth. Lingering on one side for a bit longer, then yanked back
in the other direction. On and on the game goes. No one seems to win.
I’m often engaged in this endless game of tug-of-war, a war
between what I should do and what I want to do.
Living with open hands has never been easy for me. I want to
hold tight – to my “stuff,” to my kids, to my home, to my comfort, even
to my burdens and my problems. I want to fix things
myself. Sometimes my attitude can be easily
summed up in a favorite vocabulary word of a two-year-old: “Mine.”
But then there are those moments when the light clicks on
and I realize it’s not mine. It’s all God’s. And the problems and burdens? I
don’t need to carry them or try to fix them myself either, because God doesn’t
need my help. He’s waiting for me to release my white-knuckled grip, wanting me to grasp for His strength instead of my own.
The freedom that comes from realizing this is nothing short
of amazing. I wish I could say that I feel this freedom all the time. But most
of the time, I’m still learning to let go, constantly reminding myself to
release to God what was really His in the first place. Learning to go to Him with
my worries and problems, instead of freaking out first and remembering to pray
after all else fails.
Lord, teach me to release my grasp on the things of this world. As I
learn to cling to You, help me to point others to Your light and Your
salvation. True freedom comes as I let go of my wants and desires and replace
them with Yours. I can let go, because You will never let go of me.
This is an entry for Five Minute Friday. Every Friday hundreds of writers
join in this five minute writing exercise at Lisa-Jo Baker's blog, Tales from a Gypsy Mama.
